chapter preview: no place like you
ch. 13
Spring
Lauryn
Spring in the Midwest is never promised. Snow could still blow in as late as April, cold and unrelenting, like winter refusing to let go. But for the past two weeks, spring had been showing out.
Seventy degrees arrived just in time for Lauryn’s thirty-sixth birthday, warm enough to feel like summer but fleeting enough that everyone still kept their coats hanging by the door. Even though everyone knew it wouldn’t last, people wasted no time indulging in the weather. Patios filled. Parks brimmed with near-festival crowds, and every restaurant downtown had flung its doors open like an invitation.
Tulips began blooming across the city, in planters and along medians, standing tall against the Chicago architecture . Little bursts of color insisting that maybe, just maybe, the season had turned for good. The air felt lighter and sweeter, making Lauryn want to walk a little slower every time she found herself in the new sunshine. She had been waiting for the perfect day to wear her vintage off-the-shoulder top, and today finally felt like it. Deonna- more reliable than any weatherman- had brunch booked before Lauryn even heard the weather would be warm.
Winter had been long, and Lauryn’s zero-dark-thirty commute hadn’t helped. Once she’d learned the ropes, things really took off at the office, the pace picked up and she found herself lingering, answering emails and running reports while traffic died down.
Her mother had started emailing her at work now, finding it easier to communicate through daughter to-do lists and the occasional article about the best cities to find a husband. Lauryn would roll her eyes, delete the article, then write back agreeing to help in the garden or tackle some other chore.
She’d been hearing from Perry too. Not every day, but enough to feel like they were developing a thing. His texts always popped up when she needed it. The occasional Tik Tok video that had her crying with laughter at her desk or just the simplest, “How are you today?” always sent at the perfect time.
When he wasn’t traveling, their work hours were similar, and in the past two few weeks a rhythm had formed. He’d tell her to log off and go home, calling her “Superstar” or “CEO of Doing Too Much," though he clearly never followed his own advice. Still, she liked it. Liked that he understood the corporate grind and could relate to the demands of the job. She appreciated how easily he seemed to read her moods, knowing exactly when to make her laugh and when to leave her be. And on the days they didn’t chat, she caught herself missing his messages.
“This is like the third time she walked by without my drink. I’m trying to understand what the problem is,” Deonna said that Saturday when they met for their brunch date. She lounged so cooly in the bistro arm chair, one would never suspect their tip was starting to disappear. She watched their server floating obliviously around tables, pausing to check on other patrons.
“Probably because she can feel you staring, girl.” Brittney Hartwell, Deonna’s cousin, teased from the opposite side of the table. In the few months Lauryn had gotten to know Brittney, she found her to be tenacious, but a girly girl through-and-through. Her pale yellow skirt suit and matching nails hinted at her sweetness, but Brittney could sniff out gossip the way most people caught a scent of perfume. She was lovable, if a little much at times.
Lauryn laughed, catching the eye of Esme Martin, the fourth at their table. Esme answered with a knowing smile, beauty easy and unforced. Gold dotted the curve of her ears, each of them adorned with studs and small hoops catching the light as she turned.
Lauryn laughed, catching the eye of Esme Martin, the fourth member of their party and a long time friend of Deonna’s. Esme returned a knowing smile, her beauty striking and effortless. Gold dotted the curve of her ears- studs and small hoops that caught the light as she turned. Esme had the ease of a woman who knew herself, a quality amplified by her recent marriage. She enjoyed being the fly on the wall, chiming in only when she had something sharp or witty to add, her calm presence grounding the group. She was a perfect balance to the lively energy of the others, and Lauryn was always glad when Esme attended. Her steadiness was a vibe all its own.
Lauryn was becoming very fond of these monthly brunches and the small friend group that was forming. There was a ritual brewing through all their outings and when Lauryn had casually mentioned dreading her own birthday, Deonna had sprung into action, making reservations at not one, but two of the most beautiful restaurants in the city. Lauryn glanced around the table, feeling a warmth that had little to do with the spring sun and everything to do with the company she found herself in.
Deonna gave up looking for the server, “So, I rewatched the last season of Insecure to get ready for this spring and summer. I plan to be in these streets, I plan to be flirting, I plan to slay and ya'll will be gettin’ these looks.”
“I second that motion! I steamed my entire summer wardrobe during that blizzard a couple weeks ago,” Brittney was taking a selfie.
“Deonna, when is your trip anyway?” Lauryn asked when their server finally appeared with Deonna’s drink and their appetizers.
“In a fortnight.” Deonna leaned in to grab her drink. “Ladies, can we talk about these swimsuits that I found? I’m gonna fuck this man’s whole life up.”
“Well, damn.” Lauryn shook her head, taking a sip of her own drink. She remembered couple trips well. The excitement and flirtation around planning the trip, squeezing in a few date nights or excursions in between Joe’s studio time and meetings. Ridiculous beach homes, waking up late with him, and having sex high on the beach. She bit the inside of her lip.
“So what about you, birthday girl? Do you have any steamy birthday trips planned?” Brittney asked, turning to her.
Lauryn laughed as the memory of Joe faded, “A few steamy shopping trips, yes.”
Although both Deonna and Esme raised their glasses and nodded in agreement, Brittney narrowed her eyes at Lauryn, “You know what I mean.”
Suddenly it felt like all three women leaned in to hear her response. Until now, Lauryn hadn’t had to share. Skillfully, she’d sat back and allowed the other ladies to spill all of their tea, without divulging any of hers. In all these months, Deonna hadn’t pressed, but sitting in mixed company now, she too seemed eager to hear Lauryn’s response.
“What? I’m not seeing anyone, and I don’t feel like going to some romantic resort right now. I’m keeping the romance noise to a minimum.” That much was true, but she saw their expressions. If she appeared to be open to the idea of dating, they might start asking her about the past. And that, Lauryn definitely did not want to discuss. “Although, it would be nice to just flirt with someone sometime.”
“Mm! I remember flirting,” Esme beamed at her cheekily and she raised her glass. Her wedding rings shone brightly from across the table.
Lauryn continued, pleased she’d thrown them off the scent of her actual life. “I have been seeing this app called Crown Match-”
“No!”
“Girl, do not download that shit.”
“Sweetie, what!” All three women sounded off at once.
Lauryn instantly started laughing, “I sense strong feelings here.”
“Elle, don’t even waste your time with that,” Brittney touched her hand to the table near Lauryn’s, clearly prepared to save her from a terrible mistake.
“Well I haven’t yet,” Lauryn countered, laughing. “I just keep seeing the ads on youtube and the ‘gram and it looked a little more sophisticated than other apps I’ve seen. No good, huh?”
“Girl, trash! The men on these apps are all married or still living with their exes.”
“Or their mommas,” Deonna added without looking up from the menu she was reviewing for the third time.
“And that’s not what we’re doing in 2023.” Brittney ’s statement made them all giggle. “Plus you need someone awesome for when that hammer comes down. I know you’re in relationship detox mode, but girl when you need some, you need some. And you want it to be quality.”
Lauryn turned her phone in her hands. Truthfully, she hadn’t given the app a second thought, but Brittney was right. She wasn’t ready to say it out loud, but she could use some … attention. Not even a week before she’d been all out fantasizing in a meeting and completely missed the merchandising team's updates.
Shrugging, she said, “I just think about all the years I was in a relationship and all the men that were playing in my face.”
“Exactly. No respect!” Esme sat up in her seat, this particular point clearly hitting a nerve. “It's like they can smell when you’re unavailable.”
Deonna quipped again, “Or happy.”
“Right. Asking me out when my guy is literally standing right next to me. Now, I’m single and wouldn’t mind some single-person attention and I can’t tell you the last time a man approached me.”
Deonna shook her head sharply, sending her perfect bob flowing back and forth around her face. “OK, that's not true at all. You’re just oblivious, girl.”
“What do you mean?” Lauryn was really curious. What had she missed?
“Lauryn, every time we go out you turn heads.” She clapped her hands together with every word, before crossing her legs and leaning back in her chair. “I’ve even seen a few women looking at you like they want to risk it all.”
Lauryn laughed hard, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I promise it is not like that.”
“Certainly seemed that way at Nathan’s holiday party! I saw the hugs you were getting. These men were excited to see you.” Esme sipped her drink, smirking playfully. “I don’t know who that chocolate man was that was chatting you up, but he was nineties-fine! That is the type of guy you need to be detoxing with.”
Lauryn tempered her reaction. She knew Esme was talking about Perry, but was not about to confirm anything. She chanced a look over at Deonna who also had a poker face. She watched as her friend set her menu down and asked the table, “Wait - are we ordering or are we going to that other spot?”
Brittney was only distracted for a moment. “Let’s order, we’ve already parked and I want to hear more about this chocolate man.”
“I don’t even remember who you're talking about! I saw so many old friends that night.” Lauryn picked up her own menu pretending to be engrossed as she responded. One thing that could be said of being in a long relationship with a narcissist, she was a master of tiptoeing around a conversation. “But chocolate does sound good. I’m looking at these beignets with the chocolate bourbon sauce…”
That did it. Brittney snatched up her own menu and frowned, exclaiming, “Where are those? I didn’t see them.” Lauryn and Deonna exchanged a quick glance, enough for Lauryn to show her appreciation for trying to change the subject. She wasn’t sure how much Deonna knew about Perry. She’d casually mentioned that he’d taken her out back in January, but had not elaborated. She appreciated how intuitively Deonna recognized she needed a lifeline. Even when she did not know the full story herself. What a novelty, to have a new friend who not only respected her privacy, defended it too.
The girls were less inquisitive for the rest of brunch and Lauryn took every opportunity to keep the conversation flowing in another direction. Asking Brittney questions about the wedding planning was easy enough, and soon the chatter drifted to bridesmaids dresses, signature cocktails, and whether a live band could really pull off Lucky Daye.
Lauryn let Brittney ’s excitement wash over her, grateful that the hunt for menus and venues kept the spotlight far from her own tangled love life. When their plates were cleared and the check was settled the sun was still burning high in the sky. The ladies rose from the table as one, closing up purses and trading long hugs.
“Brunch at the Duplex next month, same time,” Brittney announced, wagging a manicured finger. “Bring updates! Preferably messy ones.”
“We’ll see what the season delivers,” Deonna laughed, and they scattered toward awaiting Ubers and side-street parking spots. “Bye, ladies!”
Halfway to her car, Lauryn’s phone buzzed:
Perry: Hope you’re enjoying your birthday. Plans tomorrow?
A slow smile captured her face and she typed back.
Lauryn: I am thank you :). No plans.
She bit back another smile, watching the three dots as she eased into her car. So, he remembered her birthday. Thinking back to the last time he’d taken her out on the town, she wondered what he had in mind.
Perry: Mind if I treat you to lunch? I know a great place. Plus its supposed to be warm again tomorrow. Perfect sundress weather.
Lauryn raised an eyebrow at that. Sundress weather, huh? She considered the blatantly flirtatious text. She had no intention of wearing one, but that didn’t stop her from cataloging the sundresses in her closet at his suggestion.
She imagined a gauzy one with straps that never stayed put, and Perry’s gaze, rolling over her shoulders. Down the center of her bare back. His huge hands caressing her through the thin fabric.
Lauryn slapped at the console, turning the air to its highest setting, as a rush of heat rippled up through her chest. “What the hell…?” she chided herself quietly.
It must be the heat. Or the cocktails? She rolled her eyes, remembering Esme’s insinuations. Absolutely, no good would come from fantasizing if she was going to meet Perry tomorrow. She typed back:
Lauryn: Lunch sounds great. I’ll let you suprise me with the place.
Perry: I plan to.
Her grin returned. Perry didn’t even have to try, and somehow he still managed to disarm her. Though she was enjoying their growing flirtation, the idea worried her. Lately, things between them had start to feel like grad school days again. Playful jokes, helping to keep each other motivated. She’d almost ruined their friendship once and she was not eager to risk that again.
Lauryn made her way towards Lake Shore Drive, the lake shimmering in the distance, and her mind kept going there, picturing all that she’d tried to forget. The night at the hotel all those years ago. Then dancing with him all damn night just a few weeks before.
Pressing down on the gas pedal, she told herself not to read into it, not to make it more of a thing than it actually was. And yet, the little flip in her stomach at the thought of seeing him again told a very different story.
